


May forever never come

by Polarnacht



Series: Colorblind [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alpha/Alpha, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Explicit Language, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, M/M, Mating, Mating Bites, Non-Explicit Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:14:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22087732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polarnacht/pseuds/Polarnacht
Summary: Each Shadowhunter is born with a second gender – Alpha, Beta and Omega. Usually, Alphas were strong warriors, leaders within their family or clan. Omegas were supposed to be more domestic, a bit softer but never weak – they were trusted to raise the families, after all. Betas stood somewhere in between. There was one destined mate for each Shadowhunter, but not everyone met his mate in their lifetimes – Shadowhunter lives being often rather short. Therefore not everyone waited to find their true mate but settled for someone else. Mates by fate were most often pairings of Alphas and Omegas, Betas with Betas, but also other pairings like Alpha/Alpha were not unheard of. Rare, but acceptable. Once the mates had found each other, they claimed each other to show the world they were taken, to mark them as theirs. Every Shadowhunter was born with a lack of color – the color of the eyes of his mate. Only upon the touch of the true one, the color would become visible. For a lot Shadowhunters, the color stayed always hidden.Alec was surprised to find out that he was not lacking one color, but two - gold and blue.....
Relationships: Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Colorblind [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1591045
Comments: 18
Kudos: 88





	May forever never come

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags! This story is now part of a series, but the works are independant.

Each Shadowhunter is born with a second gender – Alpha, Beta and Omega. Usually, Alphas were strong warriors, leaders within their family or clan. Omegas were supposed to be more domestic, a bit softer but never weak – they were trusted to raise the families, after all. Betas stood somewhere in between. There was one destined mate for each Shadowhunter, but not everyone met his mate in their lifetimes – Shadowhunter lives being often rather short. Therefore not everyone waited to find their true mate but settled for someone else. Mates by fate were most often pairings of Alphas and Omegas, Betas with Betas, but also other pairings like Alpha/Alpha were not unheard of. Rare, but acceptable. Once the mates had found each other, they claimed each other to show the world they were taken, to mark them as theirs. Every Shadowhunter was born with a lack of color – the color of the eyes of his mate. Only upon the touch of the true one, the color would become visible. For a lot Shadowhunters, the color stayed always hidden.

Alec realized soon that his mate must have blue eyes, as the sky was always grey to him, no matter how little clouds there were and how radiant the sun shone. It took him way longer to realize that this was not the only color he was missing. When Izzy and he attended a wedding of a greater uncle, Alec was perplex to see that the bride wore a grey dress. Izzy nearly fell of her stool because she couldn’t stop laughing. “It’s gold, you idiot”. Alec was stunned. So he missed two colors. Did it mean he had two mates? How was this even possible? After Izzy was able to catch her breath again, she had to admit that she was also lost here. There should be only one color. Hers was green. And who had golden eyes anyway?

Alec and Izzy were taught at home, at the New York Institute. They had an amazing tutor, Hodge, who was capable to cover both theory and practical training. Sometimes Alec loathed the homeschooling – how was he supposed to find his mate when he was stuck in the Institute with his parents and Izzy? Most other Shadowhunter kids went to the Academy, a boarding school for Shadowhunters and mundanes with the sight. But his parents were weary of the place. There they had made the biggest mistake of their lives. Influenced by the charismatic leader, Valentine Morgenstern, they had joined the Circle, a Shadowhunter alliance with the goal to take over power from the Clave and wipe out the entire Downworld. At the beginning it had not been clear were the journey would end, but the longer it went on Valentine became more straightforward and ruthless. When he revealed his plan to kill every being with demon blood, Robert and Maryse had come to their senses and cut every tie with the Circle and its members.

The great blast had not come, as Valentine had not been able to discover the Mortal Instruments, which were essential for his plan. But the Circle rose nevertheless, gaining more and more power and influence within the Clave. There had always been a lot fundamentalists who favored pure blooded Shadowhunters and disliked the Accords, which gave the Downworld a voice and rights. The Shadow World was constantly on the edge of a war.

Valentine had a son of his own, Jonathan Morgenstern, who currently attended the Shadowhunter Academy and it was said that he was no less charismatic than his father, having gathered a pack of followers himself. Another reason for the Lightwoods to keep their children by their side. When Alec turned 16, the unforeseen happened: Hodge died. Without a tutor Maryse and Robert had no choice but to send their children to the Academy, not being able to teach them on their own.

The Academy was as divided as the rest of the Shadow World. On the one side stood Jonathan Morgenstern, Jace as his followers called him, carrying on his father’s legacy. On the other side were the mundanes and the Shadowhunters with ties to the Downworld or in general common sense, as Alec liked to put it. The two sides kept to themselves, avoiding each other whenever possible. So it took Alec half a year to finally meet his soulmate.

Jace was surrounded by 5 others when they met at a narrow corridor. Unlike the others Alec was not somebody to back down, he would not squirm to the side. Alec was a proud Alpha, heir to the Lightwood name and the next Head of the Institute to be – he would not waver. So he pushed through the circle of followers, bumping his shoulder to Jace’s. Suddenly the world exploded and he nearly stumbled with the overload of colors which exploded behind his eyelids. He hadn’t realized how many shades of blue there were. “Watch out Lightwood, otherwise…” Jace spat, but before he could finish his sentence his eyes widened in surprise and darted to Alec’s, a shocked expression on his face. Alec was as stunned as Jace, looking at the mismatched eyes – blue with a slash of gold in the left one - of the other Alpha. Jonathan fucking Morgenstern. Out of all people it had to be his nemesis. Great, Alec thought, just great. Jace seemed to be as pleased with fate’s choice as he was. Neither of them acknowledged the moment, both tried to regain control and just carried on.

It took them two weeks, till they met again, drawn together like magnets. When finally meeting your mate, it was not easy to stay away. Jace cornered Alec after bow practice, Alec being the last as always as he trained harder and longer than anyone else.

“Lightwood” Jace growled, the low growl of an Alpha looking for his mate. “Morgenstern” Alec growled back, straitening up to use every inch he was taller on Jace to establish Alpha dominance. What might have worked with an Omega or Beta, certainly didn’t with a powerful Alpha like Jace. But a lot was just down to biology and not rational thinking.

Both urged forward at the same time, smashing their lips together for a bruising, passionate kiss Alec would feel for days on his lips. Jace bit down on his lower lip till both could taste blood, sucking at Alec’s tongue and licking at the sensitive flesh inside Alec’s cheek. Jace used his tongue to fuck in an out Alec’s mouth as if it was not a mouth but something else. Alec moaned helplessly at the pleasant intrusion. But Alec gave as good as he got. He pushed the younger boy to the wall, pinning him against it, fighting for the dominance of the kiss. There was a reason why Alpha/Alpha pairings were rare.

When they were finished kissing and bruising each other and their bodies screamed for oxygen, Alec released Jace from his firm grip. Both boys stared at each other in disbelief before Alec turned around, gathering his things and left without a word.

Alec kept it a secret, as he supposed Jace was doing. He briefly considered telling Izzy, but how could he explain having Jace as his mate? Jace of all people, the villain of their lives. So he kept silent, also not knowing if he wanted to act on the call of fate again. But who was he kidding, deep down he knew that he wanted to meet Jace again, maybe even talk to him this time.

They ran into each other again, this time Alec came to Jace. He cornered him after sword practice. Jace was one year younger than Alec, but made up for the lack of age with smugness and cockiness, and, as Alec had to admit, a certain charisma. If Alec had not been warned by his parents’ example, he might have fallen for it. As soon as they were alone, it seemed that their primal instincts took over again, both lunging at each other. Their second kiss was as their first, raw, passionate and claiming. But this time it didn’t stay with this one kiss. Alec dragged Jace in a close by storage room which was rarely used and locked the door before tugging at Jace’s shirt and ripping it apart. He buried his nose in the neck of Jace, inhaling the deep and musky scent which screamed mate to him. He sucked a heavy bruise on the sensitive flesh of Jace’s nape and carried on going down on Jace’s body. He teased Jace by circling his nipples with his tongue, which was rewarded with a deep growl Jace couldn’t hold back. Suddenly Alec felt his head yanked back, it was Jace’s turn now. He had the same need to scent his mate, sucking feverishly at Alec’s pulse point, inhaling the sweet scent of the older boy before his hand found Alec’s crotch. Alec was already hard, his trousers felt way too tight. He moaned helplessly when Jace started to rub his cock through the rough fabric. He pulled the blond closer, crashing their hips together and grinding against the other boy till both of them came hard, the hardest orgasm Alec had ever had.

Both boys panted heavily before they slid down the wall, sitting next to each other. Their blood seemed to be satisfied with the marking of each other, the urge to claim not as strong as before. Jace gripped Alec’s chin in a nearly-bruising hold, forcing him to look at him. “This will not last. This is not forever.” Alec just nodded. “But it is now.”  
And then they kissed again, nearly gentle this time, at least for two Alphas who had not yet established their bond.

The next time they met, Jace was waiting for Alec with a smirk on his face. “Alec” he whispered seductively combined with a low growl which went straight to Alec’s cock. “I didn’t know we were one first name bases now.” Alec replied dryly, which made Jace laugh out loudly, maybe, or better most definitely the most beautiful sound Alec had ever heard. “I think making each other come into our pants qualifies for using first names” Jace managed to say, before Alec pulled him in for another kiss, still feeling the smile on their lips when they met.

This was how it went on, stolen moments, both knowing what they had was doomed. There was no way Alec would join the Circle, his believes too strong and he was too aware that what the Circle wanted was wrong. Jace would never leave his father, he admired him, worshiped him. He truly believed what they wanted was right, that it would strengthen the Shadow World. Alec couldn’t bring himself to care. He lived for the time he was with Jace, the hidden moments only the two shared. First it had been only about physical closeness and kissing and marking each other, but soon they talked about everything else – their plans for their future, their friends, the kind of music they liked – but never about politics or anything close. Both knew they would not find common ground here and both valued what they had too much to let it go.

On Jace’s 16th birthday, Alec had planned something special. They had done a lot of things, grinding against each other, jerking each other off and they even had given - and received – blow jobs, but they had never crossed the line to actually have sex. First it had been a bit awkward, both Alphas trying to have the upper hand in everything, but soon they had established that they were just equal and that sometimes it even felt good to give in. Sometimes Alec even wondered who was actually in charge when he sucked Jace off. He knew that supposedly, the one who gave the blow job was the one who submitted, but honestly he didn’t really get it. He rarely felt so powerful as when he had the most delicate part of Jace’s body in his mouth and made the younger boy squirm in front of him, driving him insane with every lick of his tongue and every time he swallowed his cock deeper.

But when Jace turned sixteen, he really wanted more. He even had a present for Jace, which was a bit embarrassing but he wanted Jace to have it anyway. It was a slim bracelet made of smooth, black leather, nothing would give away who had gifted it, so that Jace could wear it. Alec blushed deeply when he gave it to Jace, who looked stunned, clearly not having expected anything. When he held it in his hand, he remained speechless for a while, before he locked eyes with Alec and said in a low, nearly sad voice. “This is not forever, Alec, and you know it.” “I know. But it is now.” The same words they had spoken nearly as often as they had met. Then Alec pushed forward, kissing Jace passionately before he sucked a huge mark on Jace’s neck, just below the pulse point where the mating mark was supposed to be.

He pulled the blond down with him before he started to undress the blond and himself. He kissed along Jace’s impressive abs, teasing his belly button with his tongue, fucking slightly in and out, just because he could and he knew it would drive Jace crazy. When he went up again to kiss the sinful lips, he couldn’t help but notice how beautiful Jace looked in his wrecked state. His normally perfect hair was a mess, his pupils blown wide and glazed with desire, his lips already swollen from their first kiss. With one hand he held Jace in place while the other removed the last remaining clothes on their bodies, their boxers. He smiled down at the younger boy. “Because it is your birthday, I let you fuck me first. Happy Birthday, Jace.” The blond gasped, but didn’t hesitate a second before he flipped them over to be on top of Alec. “Best birthday present. Ever.” He managed to say, before both boys got lost in the sensation of being finally together as close as humans could get. It took every inch of willpower for both of them to not mark the other permanently, to not bite down and crack skin to give the other the unmistakable sign which would tell everyone: Mine. Taken. Mate. But they couldn’t. Mating was forever, and they were not. But Alec couldn’t help the proud smile when he saw Jace wearing his bracelet the next day and he couldn’t help the smirk when he saw Jace wearing a black turtle neck, to cover the mark he had given him. You are mine, he thought. At least for now. May forever never come.

They met as often as they could, but never in a rut. It was the sensible thing to do, but it was also the hardest as both their bodies screamed with desire for the other. But as Jace had put in in his unique, romantic way: “We cannot meet in a rut, Alec, or I will swear to the Angel that I will mark you everywhere, bite down on your neck as hard as I can to give you the biggest mating mark the world has ever seen while I fuck you senseless from behind.” Alec gulped, he knew Jace was right, but he would be damned if this was not the hottest thing anyone had ever said to him.

When Alec graduated at the age of 18, the outside world was closer to the brink of war than ever before. Alec joined the New York Institute again, preparing to take over the responsibilities of the leader. He had worked for this position very hard and was determined to get it. He drowned in work and the times he could sneak away to meet Jace were rare, but cherished even more. They followed their rule of not talking about the outside world and it went surprisingly well. Jace still wore Alec’s bracelet and had given him a token of his in return. A small star on a chain, which Alec never took off. The urge to really mate each other remained, but both had developed a strong will, which allowed them to bite the other but never strong enough to count as a real mating bite.

And then the inevitable happened. War broke out. Every day Alec prayed to not meet Jace on the battlefield, on the opposite ends of a fight. Their real meetings had come to an end, both couldn’t get away from their respective armies. When Alec finally received a fire message from Jace stating just a point of time and a place, Alec felt anticipation settling in his stomach. He feared that this was not a good sign.

Alec was a bit early, leaning against the wall of the small cabin Jace had chosen as a meeting point. When Jace entered the room, Alec sucked in his breath. He always had known that it would happen sometime, but he had not anticipated the pain he felt. Jace had a fresh looking red mark on his neck, the mark of an Omega. Jace’s Omega. “So this is goodbye.” Jace nodded. “It is. I’m sorry.” Alec felt his throat tighten, he was not able to speak properly. “So no goodbye kiss I guess?” Jace hesitated a second but then pulled Alec close. “Ah, fuck it Lightwood” and kissed Alec, with all he had in him, all his heart on his tongue together with all the unspoken words between them. Alec kissed back as if his life depended on it, and maybe it did. Alec was not ready to let forever begin, he wanted to cling to not-forever as long as possible. But every kiss had to end and so did this one. Jace turned around and left, not looking back. Alec could see his wrist when he left, he still wore his bracelet. He didn’t know if it made it better or worse. Forever had begun.

++++

When Alec geared up for the final battle, the battle which would decide which side would win, he prayed to the angel, to the mundane god and everyone else that he would not meet Jace, that he would not have to fight his true mate. He joined his power with a beautiful warlock, as a special gifted Shadowhunter had come up with a rune which would combine the power of a Downworlder with a Shadowhunter. This rune would win the war, Alec was sure of it.

It seemed, that the gods or the odds were not in Alec’s favor. Of course he was in the same room as the climax of the fight arrived. Valentine had already been killed, but his son was still alive and fighting like he had never done something else. Alec just entered the room, when he saw five Clave Shadowhunters fighting him at the same time. “Yield” he wanted to scream, but kept his mouth shut. He knew Jace would never. He watched as Jace slayed three Shadowhunters, he watched as a small red-head sprung forward and buried her blade in Jace’s chest. He could see the surprised look in the blond’s beautiful mismatched eyes, he saw his lips forming an silent o. And then Jace looked up. He found Alec’s eyes in an instant and before he coughed blood, Alec saw that his lips turned into a small, gentle smile, a smile which had always been his, and his alone. Before Jace hit the floor, he was already dead.

***

5 years later

Alec stood in his chamber, wearing a beautiful golden tuxedo, which flattered his eyes and his muscular figure. He was lost in thoughts, rubbing absentmindedly at his neck, the place where his mating bite should have been. He was about to get married, something he had never pictured for himself when he saw his fated mate die in the great battle of the Dark War.

He was glad that he had fallen in love with a warlock, probably the most amazing man Alec had ever met. Warlock were magical beings and therefore without second gender. Alec was glad, he was not sure if he could have handled the mating bite of a fellow Shadowhunter. As much as he loved Magnus, his neck was Jace’s, he never allowed Magnus to suck there at him, to kiss him or to leave any marks. His neck stayed bare. Magnus and him would marry in Shadowhunter gold and Warlock blue, Alec was aware of the irony that without having met Jace, he would not been able to see either.

“When will you tell me about your mate?” Magnus interrupted his broody silence. Alec turned around and his eyes widened – Magnus looked stunning in his blue ropes, laced with golden lines. “I love you, Magnus.”  
“I know darling that is why we are here. But this is not the answer to my question. I know that you are thinking of your mate every time you stare in the distance, rubbing at your neck. I know that Shadowhunters have mates chosen by fate, and if you want to wait to meet them, it is fine.”  
Alec shook his head vehemently. “No, Magnus. I want to marry you, more than anything. And I already have met my mate. He his dead.”  
Magnus raised a questioning eyebrow, knowing that this was not all of the story. After all those years, Alec finally had the need to talk to someone about Jace. “Who was it?”  
“Jonathan fucking Morgenstern” and with that, Alec burst into tears, not knowing how he deserved a man like Magnus, because the warlock didn’t flinch away or left offended, he just pulled Alec close and rubbed soothing circles on his back. “It’s ok, Alec, it’s ok.”  
Alec nodded and told the rest of their short story. He felt relieved when he had ended, his hand clutching the small star he wore always. “I can take it off” he proposed, but was glad when Magnus shook his head. “The star belongs to you as much as Jace did. And now we belong to each other. I know you are not immortal, but I can give you this forever, Alec.” He extended a hand to the tall Shadowhunter and while Alec interlined their fingers, he smiled and nodded at the same time. “Forever.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone, thanks for reading! This is my first attempt of writing something in the Alpha/Beta/Omega universe, so please let me know what you think. I think it is not the common take of the topic, but I hope you enjoyed reading it anyway.
> 
> Als always, I really appreciate comments and kudos :-) Thank you :-)


End file.
